Psychotherapy for Communication Issues
Effective communication is the cornerstone of all functioning relationships; romantic, platonic, familial and working relationships can all benefit from us knowing how to articulate our thoughts and feelings correctly. Many factors can prevent effective communication, but before we explore these in greater depth, let us discuss types of communication issues, types of treatment and when it is time to reach out to a communication therapist in west and central London.
What is Communication?
Communication can be verbal and non-verbal, which means that both what we say and how we say it (with facial expressions, body language, posture, and eye movements for example) can be noticed and acknowledged by the person or group of people we are speaking to. Sometimes our message can get lost in our delivery; say for example we are presenting a strong idea at work, but we are struggling to make eye contact, or we are exuding negativity through keeping our arms crossed. In these simple ways we may come across as being closed off or lacking confidence. Understanding that good communication hinges on both the verbal and non-verbal is an important step in becoming better at delivering our messages more effectively.
Types of communication issues
When we think of communication issues, we most commonly think of not being able to express ourselves appropriately with words. That is not always the case, and breakdowns in communication may be due to any of the following:
Not listening properly
Talking too much
Interrupting often
Stonewalling (a refusal to communicate or express emotion)
Failing to understand someone else’s perspectives
Ineffective body language
Being too direct
Not being clear enough
Not being empathetic to the other person’s position
Responding with strong emotion, i.e. letting anger dictate our response
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Contributing factors that might be keeping us from communicating effectively
Communication challenges between parties are often cited as one of the biggest strains on any type of relationship. The root of those challenges lie with the individuals involved and could be due to any particular cocktail of the following factors:
Childhood stress or trauma
Trauma from previous relationships
Mental health struggles like depression, trauma, and autism spectrum disorders
Injury or illness
Cultural barriers
Linguistic difference
Secrecy and deception
Misinterpretation of what someone says or their motivations behind the statement
Stereotyping or making inaccurate assumptions
Communication styles
There are four key communication styles and identifying which we use is an important step in understanding ourselves, and in recognising where and how we can adjust our relationship style to better express ourselves. In doing so, we will improve and develop our relationships.
Assertive communication: This style is considered the most healthy and effective way of communicating. Assertive communication is characterised by being clear and direct about what we are thinking about feeling. This style also requires being respectful of the other party's thoughts and feelings and understanding how they are expressing themselves.
Aggressive communication: This style is also clear and direct, but loses some of the effectiveness by being more ‘me’ focused, which means we will often disregard what the other party is saying. It can often come across as angry, and therefore upset the other party.
Passive communication: This style lacks directness because we tend to have difficulty expressing our thoughts and feelings. This can lead to feelings of being taken advantage of, and also an inability to be properly understood.
Passive-aggressive communication: This style often comes across unclear and confusing, perhaps because we are cooperating outwardly, whilst we remain frustrated inwardly. This can often come across as sullen and stubborn.
When do you need a therapist for communication?
If communication issues are harming the relationships we care about, it might be time to consider therapy. It could very well be that we first need to identify the root of our struggles; by establishing a cause of our behavioural, cognitive and emotional patterns, we can then work collaboratively with a therapist to decide on a course of treatment. This could mean couples counselling, family therapy, and/or therapy for PTSD if there are traumatic events in our past affecting the way we communicate. Stress, depression, and anxiety can also impact us in various ways, especially in the way we communicate with ourselves and with others. Whatever the cause, conscious or unconscious, facing and exploring these issues and experiences can help us develop our communication skills. This might result in:
Helping us open the lines of communication with ourselves and with others
Communicating respectfully
Actively listening
Being able to utilise healthy dialogue, and in so doing, communicating our needs better
Communication therapy: Types of treatment
At The Modern Psychotherapist, I am trained in a number of therapeutic methods and thus utilise what is known as an integrative approach to tailor our therapy sessions to your individual needs.
My integrative approach is based upon the the following three therapeutic models:
Humanistic and Person-Centred Counselling: This approach is the most common type of talking therapy, and is centred around the premise that everyone is capable of understanding themselves, and in so doing, has the ability to reach their full potential and lead a more fulfilling life. At The Modern Psychotherapist, communication therapy in central and west London takes place in a safe, empathetic and non-judgemental space where you are supported in beginning the process of acknowledging, understanding and articulating the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that you are experiencing, or have experienced. This form of therapy concentrates upon what you are thinking and feeling in the here-and-now, and in so doing, helps with emotional regulation.
Psychodynamic Therapy: Psychodynamic or psychoanalytic therapy is based on Sigmund Freud’s ideas that thoughts, feelings and behaviours are often rooted in the unconscious mind. These unconscious processes give way to negative emotional and behavioural patterns, even though we remain unaware of their cause. These behaviours just feel ‘natural’ or ‘instinctive’. With psychodynamic therapy, the aim is to bring these past experiences into the conscious mind where we can more effectively explore them. In exploring them we will begin to adapt those negative patterns into positive ones, and in so doing, begin to alleviate any symptoms we might be experiencing.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, more simply known as CBT, suggests our thoughts, feelings and behaviours are all interlinked. It, furthermore, explores the idea that once we develop negative thought patterns, this affects the other two areas until we are trapped in a vicious cycle. Sometimes this can also result in physical symptoms. The aim with CBT, therefore, is to adapt one of these links in the cognitive-emotional-behavioural chain so we can begin to alleviate our symptoms. It is worth noting CBT is often not as explorative as humanistic counselling or psychodynamic therapy. Instead, CBT focuses on the present, and how to improve our thoughts and feelings in the here and now.
If you are ready to take the first step to get in touch with a therapist, I am a fully qualified (MAPsych, PGDipPsych) and registered (MBACP) integrative psychotherapist, servicing the following areas of Central and West London:
Communication Therapy Central London
Communication Therapy West London
I also have experience in helping clients with depression, stress, low-self esteem and low self-confidence, trauma, relationship and family dynamics, anxiety, anger management, and bereavement.
Common Questions:
Will I Gain Advice from Therapy Sessions?
Therapy is different to coaching in that it is not a space where I will offer advice. Instead of ‘rescuing’ you, my goal is to equip you with the self-knowledge and the practical tools you need in order to face your own challenges. Therefore, we will work together in a safe space where I will guide you as you learn more about yourself and your individual struggles and strengths. There will be times where I will provide insight and my perspective on your situation, but the true objective of psychotherapy is for you to learn to trust your own instincts.
How do I know which counselling approach is most suited to me when I’m struggling to articulate my feelings?
There are a multitude of therapeutic methods available, and as explained above, my integrative approach concentrates on ideas associated with humanistic, psychodynamic and cognitive behavioural models. In our work together we might include one or more of these approaches into your therapy plan. With communication therapy in central & west London, The Modern Psychotherapist believes in, and practises, a client-centred and integrative approach, relying upon the intellectual, academic, and research-led building blocks of these three approaches.Through their use, we will begin the process of alleviating your symptoms.