Psychotherapy for Bereavement
Death is an unfortunate part of life and at some point or another, we will all have to come to terms with the loss of a loved one. Whether a person or a pet, loss, or the prospect of loss, can leave us with a mix of very intense emotions. A number of therapeutic techniques can help us approach, acknowledge and process this loss in an empathetic and healthy way, but before taking a look at which of those The Modern Psychotherapist employs, we will first define bereavement, the stages of grief, and symptoms that might indicate that you need a therapist for bereavement.
What is bereavement?
Although grief is usually the result of a loved one’s death, feeling bereaved is not uncommon when pets die or relationships come to an end; we can even experience grief when we lose our jobs or homes. Feeling as though we have a hole in our lives in the wake of a loss can be overwhelming. Not knowing how to fill that hole can leave us experiencing a range of complex emotions and feelings that can manifest as physical, behavioural, emotional, and cognitive symptoms.
Symptoms of bereavement and grief
As with most mental and emotional struggles, it is important to remember that we are all unique and will therefore experience grief and bereavement differently also. Perhaps we will only relate to a few of the symptoms listed below, or we might experience them all powerfully. It is also entirely possible that every symptom is present as we are dealing with grief, but the potency of it varies, leaving us able to cope one day and completely overwhelmed the next. Signs of bereavement and grief can include:
Sadness and longing
Crying
Feeling numb or apathetic
Feeling shocked
A feeling of guilt
Feeling irritable and angry
Difficulty feeling joy
Feeling abandoned
Hopelessness
Feeling helpless
Feeling either restless or exhausted
Appetite changes
Shortness of breath
Feeling sick
Feeling confused or alienated
Feeling withdrawn or isolated
Having trouble sleeping, sometimes associated with nightmares
Feeling worthless or meaningless
Negative thoughts
Having trouble focussing
Being forgetful or absent-minded
Avoiding or suppressing thoughts about loss
Rumination
Testimonials
Stages of bereavement and grief
It is not unusual for our symptoms to change throughout the various stages of grief. It is also not unusual for these changes to happen out of this order; for example, we might enter the bargaining stage before the anger stage, and so on. As a therapist for bereavement in central & west London, The Modern Psychotherapist provides a safe space within which to grief, regardless of which of the stages you are in.
Shock and denial
The very first reaction to loss is usually shock. This inability to fully reconcile what has happened, or to comprehend that the person, or thing, we have lost is not coming back can help us to carry on with the practicalities of day-to-day living, whilst it might render others unable to undertake or complete everyday tasks.
Anger
The anger following a loved one’s death can be experienced in a variety of ways. Sometimes it is directed at the deceased themselves for leaving the bereaved behind, but it is not uncommon to feel angry at family and friends, medical staff, or perhaps those involved with the death, or even at ourselves
Bargaining
To overcome feelings of helplessness and vulnerability, we might look for ways that give us back a measure of control. For some, finding a way back to religion to bargain with God to take away the pain, might be a way to assert some control; or to determine that we will make changes in our lives
Guilt
We can feel guilt over something we said. Alternatively we can feel guilty about things we left unsaid, or the things we did or did not do. It is also not uncommon for most of us to feel as though we could have done more for our loved ones, or to avoid our loss, before we suffered it.
Depression
Losing someone or something dear to us can contribute to depression, a sense of loneliness and a profound feeling of emptiness. For most of us, this is the stage in which we seek counselling, because of how it affects our mood. Along with the sadness, we might also experience loss of appetite, as well as aches and pains, and a general feeling of malaise.
Acceptance
The final stage is accepting that our loss is real, as we begin to let go of the anger and look to the future. It is natural that we will never completely forget our loved ones and the sadness does not, nor should not, disappear, but we will be able to perform daily tasks without feeling overwhelmed.
When do you need a therapist bereavement and grief?
The time it takes to progress through the stages of grief, in whatever order, and often without a sense of completion, can be different for everyone. We might find ourselves grieving, in one way or another, for a very long time. However, struggling to get through denial, anger, bargaining or guilt can have a severely negative impact on our lives and the way we function under daily pressures. It can also end up contributing to emotional difficulties such as depression and anxiety. If you have lost someone or something and you have been experiencing the symptoms of bereavement for a length of time that you feel stuck, then it might be time to get in touch with a therapist for bereavement.
Bereavement therapy: Types of treatment
As a therapist for bereavement in central & west London, I am experienced in a number of therapeutic techniques that can all be used to help address and explore the symptoms of bereavement, regardless of which stage of grief you are in. Some of the methods that could be used in your tailored therapy plan, might include:
Psychodynamic Therapy: Psychodynamic therapy is the body of research built upon the ideas of Sigmund Freud and psychoanalysis over the last century. Similar to a humanistic approach, this is a traditional talking therapy usually experienced over a long period of time. Psychodynamic therapy takes on a more in-depth strategy exploring past experiences often rooted in the unconscious with an aim to bring them into the conscious mind. For example, a loss might take us back to feelings we had as a child. By doing so, we can begin to understand those experiences, recognise patterns of relating and attachment, and, in making them present, reduce the distress they cause. Becoming aware of deep-set internal patterns can lead to changes in obstructive and destructive behaviours.
Humanistic and Person-Centred Counselling: Counselling encourages in-depth experience and articulation of your challenges, thoughts and feelings in the present. At The Modern Psychotherapist, bereavement counselling takes place in a safe, empathetic and non-judgemental space where you are supported in beginning the process of acknowledging, understanding and articulating distressing thoughts and feelings which you might have felt previously unable to share.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: Known simply as CBT, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is based on the idea that thoughts drive feelings that drive behaviours. If our thoughts, for example, are constantly negative, those thoughts will start to negatively affect our feelings. The combination of negative thought and feelings will in turn negatively impact our behaviours, and soon we find ourselves trapped in a vicious cycle. For example, a bereavement might result in obsessive thoughts about our own or others’ mortality, that are distressing. If we manage to change one of these aspects in a positive way, it can break the cycle and start to make a positive impact on the other areas as well.
If you are ready to take the first step to get in touch with a therapist for bereavement, I am a fully qualified (MAPsych, PGDipPsych) and registered (MBACP) integrative psychotherapist, servicing the following areas of Central and West London:
Bereavement therapy Central London
Bereavement therapy West London
I also have experience in helping clients with depression, stress, low-self esteem and low self-confidence, trauma, relationship and family dynamics, communication, anger management, and anxiety.
Common Questions:
Which therapeutic method will best suit me?
How we experience grief is unique. With bereavement therapy in central & west London, The Modern Psychotherapist believes in, and practises, a client-centred and integrative approach, relying upon the intellectual, academic, and research-led building blocks of Humanistic Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which through their use, will begin the process of alleviating your symptoms.
What happens in a therapy session?
We will begin our therapeutic journey with an assessment appointment that will allow us to talk about your concerns and your goals for therapy. This will help us to better understand what you would like to achieve in our future sessions. Each and every session, including this first assessment, will offer you a warm and safe environment in which you will be able to express yourself freely about your own personal challenges and experiences without judgement. Everything you say in therapy is subject to strict confidentiality.