Psychotherapy for Anger Management
Anger is not an uncommon feeling and is often classed as a healthy emotional response. When our anger becomes destructive or starts to influence our daily lives, relationships and working situations, however, it can quickly become a problem that requires addressing. The solution can feel like just bottling it up; but not expressing anger in a healthy way can come with its own set of issues (for example passive aggressive behaviour) that can significantly alter our outlook on life or make us feel perpetually hostile. Before we consider how to effectively manage anger, let us first explore the symptoms, causes, and whether you might need a therapist for anger management.
What is anger?
Anger can often feel both constructive, in terms of motivation, and also destructive, in terms of causing harm to ourselves or others. Anger is a useful signal to us that we feel hurt, frustrated or sad, and can also act as a motivator to help us defend or encourage ourselves in perilous situations. Like stress or anxiety, anger becomes a problem when it starts to feel debilitating, for example when we begin to feel guilty for angry outbursts. We never want any one emotion to be controlling us, so when our anger starts to feel dominant, it might be time to contact a therapist for anger management in central and west London.
Symptoms of anger management issues
When we think of anger management and what the related signs are, we might think of it as an inability to control our anger. In actuality, it stretches far beyond that and can affect us behaviourally, emotionally and physically. The symptoms of anger management issues include:
Raising your voice or shouting
Arguing often
Road rage
Breaking things
Displaying aggressive behaviour which may include domestic abuse
Displaying an aggressive posture
Often engaging or moving towards a source of anger to start a fight
Increased blood pressure
Increased heart rate
Tense muscles
Shaking
Clenched fists
Feeling hot
Chest tightness
Light-headedness
Quicker breathing
Feeling irritable
Feeling guilty, especially after an angry episode
Feeling overwhelmed
Feeling anxious or depressed
Self-harm or thinking of causing ourselves harm
Having trouble focussing
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Causes of anger management issues
Anger can stem from any one of a multitude of experiences and/or outbursts which are triggered by a variety of situations. This can make pinpointing an exact cause of anger management quite difficult. As a therapist for anger management serving in the central and west London communities, The Modern Psychotherapist has found that the following scenarios are often at the heart of an episode:
Feeling threatened
Feeling powerless
Feeling as though we are being treated unfairly
Feeling as if we are not being respected
Being interrupted when trying to achieve a goal
Feeling disappointed
Reacting with anger when we actually feel sad, hurt, anxious or scared
Alcohol and drug use
We are all individuals and thus react uniquely to different stimuli. For some of us, it means our responses can be quite strong compared to others in similar situations. This alone could point to past experiences we might not even be aware of as triggers for anger management issues. If, for example, we were badly betrayed in the past, having exciting plans cancelled last minute or not getting the promotion we were hoping for, might hark back to upsetting memories and trigger an angry outburst which is not commensurate with the current event we are experiencing
Some things that can influence the way we react include:
How we saw and felt our primary care-givers deal with anger when we were younger
Traumatic past events or PTSD and the feelings that are triggers for us
Our current circumstance; anger can get on top of us when we are struggling with a lot of different things or feel particularly stressed
Our relationship with substances, social media or the internet
When do you need a therapist for anger management issues?
Going for a walk for some fresh air, listening to music, reading and meditation are all useful ways to diffuse emotional situations and avoid an angry outburst. Often, however, it is difficult to recognise a triggering scenario and before we know it, we have reacted angry and end up feeling guilty, further trapping us in a negative cycle; this is known as ‘the anger trap’. Having a safe space in which to decipher and sort through our triggers, our emotions and being able to identify tools that can help us cope is an excellent way of managing the overpowering feelings of anger.
It is also important to seek out a therapist for anger management when thoughts of self-harm, or harming others, become overwhelming. For those of us struggling with anger, it can easily feel as though we will never overcome it, but anger is controllable and by working together during consistent therapy sessions, we will be able to relieve some of the symptoms. Acknowledging that we are angry in the first place, is a key step.
Anger management therapy: Types of treatment
Understanding what triggers an angry outburst, thus allowing ourselves to address the trigger, is usually the first step in learning how to cope with anger in a constructive way. By exploring our thoughts and feelings alongside the past experiences that might have led to them, we will feel more in control of our anger, rather than it in control of us, and can more easily avoid anger escalating to a point where we feel guilty in the wake of an episode.
At The Modern Psychotherapist, I am qualified in a number of therapeutic techniques and will tailor our sessions together to suit your personality, symptoms and goals. That might mean that I employ a single one of the psychotherapeutic methods below, or a mix, depending on you. This is known as a ‘client-centred approach’. Either way, this will help begin the process of understanding, acknowledging, articulating and ultimately alleviating your symptoms.
Humanistic and Person-Centred Counselling: As the most common form of therapy, Humanistic and Person-Centred Counselling is often referred to as a talking therapy. The humanistic approach gives us the opportunity to sit down for an in-depth exploration of the issues you feel you are struggling to overcome, alongside your accompanying thoughts and feelings. At The Modern Psychotherapist, anger management therapy in central and west London takes place in a safe, non-judgemental space to ensure you are supported on your therapeutic journey. Humanistic counselling allows us to begin the process of acknowledging, understanding and articulating the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings you are experiencing.
Psychodynamic Therapy: Psychodynamic or psychoanalytic therapy is based on Sigmund Freud’s ideas that problematic past experiences are rooted in the unconscious mind and thus affects our thoughts and feelings as adults. With this form of therapy, the goal is to bring those challenging experiences into the conscious mind where we are able to better understand them and work towards changing them in order to alleviate the symptoms and distress they cause.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: More simply known as CBT, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is based on the idea that thoughts drive feelings that drive behaviours. When one affects the other, it is easy to get caught in a constantly negative cycle where we might also start to experience more physical manifestations like tearfulness, sadness, loss of energy, sleep changes, and so on. CBT focuses on how a positive intervention and change to one of these areas will inevitably influence the other area for the better, and in so doing, shift our cognitive, emotional, and behavioural patterns.
If you are ready to take the first step to get in touch with a therapist for anger management, I am a fully qualified (MAPsych, PGDipPsych) and registered (MBACP) integrative psychotherapist, servicing the following areas of Central and West London:
Anger management therapy Central London
Anger Management therapy West London
I also have experience in helping clients with depression, stress, low-self esteem and low self-confidence, trauma, relationship and family dynamics, communication, anxiety, and bereavement.
Common Questions:
How many therapy sessions will I need for anger management issues?
Therapy is not a one-size-fits-all solution and always depends on every individual’s unique circumstances. Because of this, our collaboration will always begin with an initial consultation in which we discuss the hurdles, thoughts and feelings distinct to you, as well as what you would like to achieve with therapy. From there I recommend six sessions as a minimum where we regularly review how the work is going, and then we pivot from there. It is important to remember that in depth therapy can often unearth other issues and experiences that you might like to discuss, which makes therapy something that is, more often than not, ongoing. All our work is client-led, and if you feel it is not working, we can adapt or end, depending on what you want.
How do I know which approach is most suited to my anger management issues?
As mentioned previously, there are many kinds of therapeutic methods available and at The Modern Psychotherapist I am qualified to integrate those ideas into our weekly sessions. Which specific approach we will take is determined by your goals, needs, experiences and personality; because I believe in a client-centred approach, we will work collaboratively to tailor our therapy to suit you. My integrative approach utilises and blends Psychodynamic Therapy, Humanistic and Person-Centred Counselling, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, to suit you.